In the conditions of today’s realities, many children of Ukraine are currently experiencing traumatic events.
The child is also affected by events in which he did not directly participate. For example, to have a negative impact on a child, it is enough to watch the news on TV or a video report containing scenes that are difficult for the child’s psyche. Children can feel their own insecurity and helplessness in a world that they do not fully understand. The consequences of such exposure include fear, nightmares, regressive behavior or frequent acts of aggression.
A child’s reaction to a traumatic event depends on a number of factors: age, character, degree of severity and proximity to the child of the traumatic event, as well as the level of support from family members and friends. It is the support that comes from parents during and after the trauma that is the main factor in its successful overcoming. Most children come to their senses after a traumatic event without the professional help of psychologists, only thanks to the support of loved ones. Therefore, it is very important that parents carefully monitor the manifestation of any symptoms of depression and stress in the child and always be there for him in this difficult time.
Below are a number of practical recommendations that will help parents and children cope with a crisis situation.
– Monitor your reaction to what happened. Children develop their own model of behavior by observing adults who play an important role in their lives (parents, teachers). Therefore, try to keep calm and instill it in the child as much as possible. You may want to share your thoughts and feelings with friends or family members before starting a conversation with your child.
– Pay more attention to the child. Sensitivity and attention on your part will allow the child to express his thoughts and feel his own security, especially in difficult situations. If the child wants to talk to you about his feelings, encourage him to talk. Be understanding of what he tells you and explain that feelings such as fear, anger and guilt are completely normal reactions to “abnormal” events.
– Speak to the child in a language he understands. Any information should be told to the child according to his age and level of development. Too much information can confuse young children and cause them new fears and feelings of insecurity. On the other hand, additional information will help the child to correctly understand what is actually happening. It is important to encourage your child to talk, but if he does not want to, never insist. In no case should a child be informed of various unfounded rumors and incorrect information about events.
– Limit the child’s access to mass media. Try to protect the child from viewing photos and live reports from the scene of tragic events. This is especially important for children of preschool and primary school age. Often, parents are so engrossed in the dramatic events that are broadcast on television that they do not think about the fact that their young children can also see these events. Such viewings are the cause of night terrors or difficult thoughts in children.
– Try to maintain a normal order of life, convince the child that he is completely safe. Talk to the child about how to avoid traumatic or stressful situations in the future. This will strengthen his sense of security and ability to manage his life. Maintaining a normal lifestyle has a very persuasive effect on a child and is for him a clear proof of his own safety and stability, which does not require words.
– Watch closely for any signs of stress. If a child plays games that replay an event that happened to him over and over again, or complains of “nightmares”, under no circumstances should skip this. Such patterns of behavior are normal immediately after the injury and help the child to cope with it. However, if after a month they have not disappeared, but have only worsened, consider whether you should seek professional help.
– Be especially attentive and sensitive to teenagers showing symptoms of stress. If teenagers are talking about or thinking about suicide, using drugs, eating or sleeping poorly, or showing angry outbursts, this should not be missed under any circumstances. Such symptoms should be dealt with immediately, as they do not go away on their own without professional treatment.
– Do not forget about your own state of mind. Since you are the main source of help and support for the child, you must take care of yourself. Communicate with family and friends, share your feelings and experiences with other adults, especially those who have experienced something similar. Try to maintain a balanced diet. Get enough sleep, exercise and don’t forget to have fun. Again, do not hesitate to seek professional psychological help (counseling and treatment) if you feel it is necessary for you or your child.
Israeli Center for the Treatment of Psychological Trauma – “Practical recommendations for providing assistance to children after a tragic event”